dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
