Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize