gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
