My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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