Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
