i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
