Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
