The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
