HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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