Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
