The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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