I feel like I'm in dance class right now
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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