exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize