Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I fill condoms, not promises.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
