I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
