If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
