Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
