I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize