How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
