I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
