We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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