You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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