redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
