I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
