I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
