I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
