I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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