At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
sarcasm needs its own font
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
