But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
