So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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