I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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