OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
