"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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