"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
