Ambien. No doubt about it.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
