I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
