I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
