Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
