So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
false alarm. still invincible.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
