So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
