i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
