can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
