i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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