Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
