legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
