my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
