i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
