would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
