Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
