hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
