If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
