Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize