I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
