it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
