i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
you will always have a special place in my vag
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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