I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
We talked him into tasing himself.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
