did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Randomize
