guys are not supposed to queef...right?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
