um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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